I’m actually shocked people don’t care that a 13 yr old girl committed suicide because of me. I am well aware the abuse n grooming are more public because of the callout posts, but if the suicide was more common knowledge I would have been in a worse position than where I am today.

For short, I used to be friends with a little girl names Fluffy (formally known as Kai on Google+), she was drama Queen and attention seeker like me, we became friends for our shared interests of Portal 2 and the Birdie drama, we would often troll on art communities and make extremely nsfw roleplays (Most of the time involved abuse, forced pregnancies, and sexual assault, I was a victim of S/A, I had no clue that I was S/A’d so I never commented on the topics that were often brought up on the roleplays. We also roleplayed as Chell and Caroline Johnson from Portal, so there’s that too).

When G+ shut down we migrated to Discord and we landed on a niche art community where Fluffy fell victim to bullying. I didn’t want to step up because I had been dealing with horrible ptsd from being bullied on G+ and a different server, and so I just, watched everything fall apart on Fluffy’s world. We became more distant because of my careless action, and it then resulted in something horrible that happened on Christmas Eve of 2019.

If I recall correctly, I wanted to forget to my memory is sort of fucked, but Fluffy supposedly used her dad’s rifle and ended it all. I also recall her jumping off a building, but maybe it’s because people were spreading rumors about her actual death, which is something I will never truly know. The gun part felt more believable because she lived in the south with her dad and grandmother. I remember being so quietly devistated, I remember that evening and the next day I was watching Home Alone with my mom and younger sibling, I remember putting a fake smile on my face because I felt so, guilty. Guilt of being apart of someone’s downfall. I remember venting about it on my Instagram stories later on that same month, but nobody dared to come close to confront me about Fluffy’s death. She used to be known as that one artist with a similar art style of mine who was always accused of me being my alt account, and now I’m here crying my ass off because I had to tell you this story (and that I got fake LPS from the mail BOOOOOO TOMATO TOMATO).

If Fluffy faked her death just to avoid the internet all together, I just hope she is alright. I just hope she was able to heal when I haven’t. I hope her art improves. I hope her mental health improves. I hope she finds better friends than me, I just, hope.

(If you’re an ex friend who just stumbled across this post, don’t tell Oswald about this, I sure know he would fucking kill me because a literal child died because of me).

edit: originally I was going to include this in my previous post about my past behavior as a minor, but I forgot. Today it gave me the opportunity to express my feelings about the situation.

edit the sequel: I was 15 when Fluffy died, we met when she was 11 and when I was 13-14. We had no care about how problematic our roleplays were. I was also a heartless antiwoke degenerate at the time too so 😭